I'm a single mother of a son and two daughters. Girls are definitely a lot more work, drama, and heart ache than boys. I am not ashamed to admit that all of my kids get on my daggone nerves at times but my daughters do it a little better than my son. My oldest daughter is an ugly, narcissistic person. I love her to death, but I'm not happy with the person she's turning out to be. She openly only cares about herself. She actually googled "Narcissism" and was proud that she is the description that she read. I told her she should be ashamed and should be trying to change her behavior. To tell a little about the type of person she is, she's the snob who's stuck on herself....but no one really knows why. She thinks that because she's cute, that looks are all she has to bring to the table. She's rude. She is disrespectful. She will only help if there is a benefit to her. This child NEVER speaks to my father even though I encourage all of my kids to keep in touch with him. I made plans to spend Thanksgiving with my father and his side of the family. I had no intention of taking my oldest daughter because I knew it would be a miserable trip if she went. She'd complain the whole ride up and back from NYC. She'd ask for everything she saw then would pout and pick fights and cop an attitude with everyone around her whenever I told her I wasn't buying whatever it was she asked for. When she told me she didn't want to go, I was glad. A few days later, she changed her mind. I knew she'd act up, but I made up my mind that she wasn't going to ruin my time with my family. The day she told me she decided to go, this is what happened:
Daughter: I wonder what grandpa got me for my birthday.
Me: Probably nothing, you don't even speak to him.
Daughter: That doesn't mean anything. He knows it's my birthday, he should still get me something. I hope he gives me $500 so I can go shopping.
Me: Well, if I put myself in his shoes, I wouldn't spend a dime on anyone who can't even be bothered to say hello or ask me how I'm doing....family or not.
My daughter didn't get it. Sometimes I feel like an idiot for continuously giving her chances to do better...for hoping that by setting the right example, she'll just pick up on it and start doing better. She never does. Today she texted me to ask when I can give her $200 so she can take a driving course. No "hello mom" "how are you mom" "are you busy mom"....just straight to "what can you do for me". I am tired of telling her not to talk to me unless she's doing it in a way that's acceptable to me and her not picking up on the fact that I ignore her when she doesn't speak to me the way I expect. If someone asks how things are going, I tell the truth. I'm good but my oldest daughter is getting on my nerves. Then I get the "oh my kids never get on my nerves and I'm so happy to be a mom and everything is always perfect". Stop lyin! At some point, every child gets on their parents last damn nerve. It doesn't mean that you don't love the child, it means the child is being a pain in the arse...nothing else. Kids are no different than anyone else....there's no one that we ALWAYS feel like being with. I strongly dislike when friends/family act like I'm abnormal for admitting that my kids get on my nerves sometimes. I'm not a bad mother because of it. I'm not going to strap my kids in the back seat of my car then drive it into a lake. I'm keeping it real...something other parents should probably do.
I would totally be in a psych ward somewhere if I pretended that I love every single minute of motherhood. Some days I feel like packing up and rolling out. Totally "normal" to FEEL that way, especially when you have no support system. NOT "normal" to act on it. In order to move past an "anger management moment" you have to put it out there...let it go. I can't keep it pent up and pretend it doesn't exist...spent my entire childhood and part of my adulthood doing that, and I'm not doing that anymore. People need to learn how to listen. Learn to put yourself in someone else's shoes. And if you're going to make comparisons, how about an apples to apples comparison and not the old apples to oranges comparison? If you have never spent a day as a single mother, who and how the hell are you going to tell me that it's not normal for me to feel annoyed by my kids? I'm just annoyed with my kids, I don't hate them! Heck, you have a husband helping you support your kids financially, emotionally and physically....of course you can't relate to what I feel.
People think I'm mean when I say my kids have to move out on their own if they don't go to college when they turn 18. It's not mean. I've done my part and I'm reclaiming that part of my life. I've taken care of my kids most of their lives with no help whatsoever from my ex-husband....so when they're 18, I'm done. That doesn't mean that I won't help them whenever they need it, it just means that I'm not providing EVERYTHING for them.
No comments:
Post a Comment