I don't believe that we have to put up with crap from people just because they're related to us. I don't care if it's your parents, your kids, your cousins...we all deserve to be treated a certain way and those who can't manage to do that don't deserve our time.
Back in September, I stopped speaking to my mother. After almost 41 years of being told I'm stupid, worthless, would never do anything with my life, I'm not important, I'm a whore, a liar, and whatever else came to mind, I decided I'm not putting up with it anymore. If I let her treat me that way, I have no business expecting any better from anyone else. I tried reasoning with my mother, but you have to be a complete idiot to try reasoning with an irrational person. My mother believes that asking her: to stop calling me stupid, stop telling my kids that I'm a drug addict/prostitute, stop being so rude and nasty to me is disrespectful. Respect is earned, not given...and you don't get it just because you're alive or older than I am. When my mother texted me in September as if she supports me physically, emotionally and financially about something I chose to let my child do, I admit, it ticked me off. Even though I was mad at her, I did not respond in a rude manner. I asked her to please stay out of situations between me and my daughter unless one of us asks for her help. She went off and I told her I wanted to terminate our relationship until she learns to be more respectful toward me. Don't call me a dumb ass my whole life and then act like I'm abnormal because I don't like it!
Every single important person that I've introduced my mother to, she used as an opportunity to make me look stupid. When I introduced her to my ex-husband, what does she do? Ask him what why he would want someone like me because I have nothing to offer. My ex-husband later turned out to be a jackass. He was extremely abusive toward me...always telling me I'm ugly, fat, a whore, stupid, worthless. When he realized the words didn't bother me anymore, he started hitting me. I remember a conversation I had with my mother about why I decided to leave my ex-husband. I told her I had to leave because even though he didn't hit me in front of our kids, I didn't want them thinking that was OK. My mom's response? You're hard to deal with and probably did something to deserve it. A couple years later, I started dating a really nice guy. Took him to meet mom, what does she do? "What do you want with someone like Tisha, she don't have nothing to offer. She's a burden, why would you take on a single mother with three kids?" Thanks for your vote of confidence "mom"! My mother is an extremely hateful and probably mentally ill person...and she takes her hate out on me. I don't care if she's my mother, I don't have to tolerate her BS.
Anyway, my kids have grown up hearing my mother talk hatefully about me. They've been there during her rants/tantrums. They know it's not right...which is why I'm totally shocked/hurt/ready to cut two of them off. My son recently started dating this girl and asked me to come to my mother's house for Christmas. I told him I understand where he's coming from and that he wants to make a good impression for his girlfriend but I'm NOT going to my mother's house unless 1) she apologizes 2) SHE invites me. My son said "you know that's not happening"...and he's right. So why the hell would he ask me to once again overlook my mother's poor behavior and subject myself to her verbal abuse? That's extremely selfish to me. Because my mother has an audience...his girlfriend, she'll use the opportunity to show her ass. I'm not going to be her verbal punching bag anymore. You go have your little Christmas with her and your girlfriend....my sanity and happiness are more important than to subject myself to her crap. I feel like my son's desire to make a good impression for his girlfriend is more important to him than understanding what I feel. As if that's not enough, my 17 year old daughter had the nerve to ask the same thing! Our family is NOT normal and I'm tired of faking like it is!
Anyway, I made my own plans for Christmas. Christmas is about LOVE...and there is no love between my mother and I.
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