Feeling like a misfit

I absolutely have to find a new crowd.  My beliefs are significantly different than most of the people around me.  So much so that I tend not to even express my feelings or beliefs because I'm constantly in a position of defending myself; what I call "closed minded thinkers" always want me to feel that I'm wrong because I'm the only in the group who thinks what I think.

Earlier today, I was having a conversation with two ladies I work with.  We were talking about death and how people deal with it.  These ladies were talking about how they cried at family member's funerals and how ridiculous some people act over wills, etc.  I didn't say anything about crying when someone dies, because I feel differently about death.  I don't cry...and because I don't cry, I don't attend funerals.  I believe that the life we have now is just one stage...similar to a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.  Some of us have few days in the caterpillar stage, so of us have tons of days in the caterpillar stage.  When I think back on the deaths of family members, I realized that when I cried...I was crying because of the emptiness I felt because I couldn't see that person everyday.  I felt like he/she left ME.  Thinking further, I realized how selfish I was...I wasn't mourning the loss, I was sad because I didn't want to deal with my loved one not being around anymore.  That made me think about my feelings more...and that's when I realized that death isn't a loss at all.  We can't see the ones we lose everyday, but they are STILL with us.  The time we had with the loved one should be CELEBRATED...not MOURNED.   I reached that conclusion 17 years ago.  I've only shared my belief with my kids...I've raised them to be open-minded/receptive to different ways of thinking.  My open-mindedness has caused family members to accuse me of being a bad parent, irresponsible, crazy and even a drug addict.   Anyway, I'm watching Oprah's Life Class from yesterday....and I have chills up my spine because the conversation I avoided at work today is one of the class topics (death).  Oprah and the gentleman she's talking to have the same belief about death that I do.  My aha is that I need to upgrade my crowd.  It is hard to find people who are as open-minded as I am, but instead of being lazy and just giving in and settling for allowing the wrong types of people into my life, I have to put in work.  I am definitely worth it.